when you feel yourself losing your softness

there is a special kind of excitement and hope that is associated with softness. It is a form of innocence that hasn’t been weathered by the storms of people that refuse to heal themselves. It is gentle even when life is rough around the edges.

we’re born into a world with cruel intentions, meaning everyone wants a piece of softness. It gives and gives although it never gets anything in return. Your sensitivity becomes a home for people when they need a safe place to land.

even softness gets tired. Tired of being used when needed and then discarded. The truth is, it’s easy to take advantage of someone who is safe.

when you feel yourself losing your softness, it begins quietly. The walls build up slowly at first. I used to think that it was happened quickly and loudly. But, I’ve since learned that losing softness is a collection of micro moments. The small interactions of disrespect. The lack of effort received from others in relationships over time. Telling someone over and over what you need and them not hearing you.

it only takes so many of these instances before you shatter. The truth is, softness is not protective. Once it becomes exposed, its fragility is so easily broken. You start to feel yourself becoming guarded. Vulnerability is replaced with caution. Trust is a foreign language that you once knew but can’t find the words to feel anymore. Someone who once shared their warmth with everyone they crossed paths with became cold. It is simply easier to put miles of distance between you and the potential scars of emotional pain or discomfort.

softness is hard to keep alive when you feel hardened by a world that asks you to be steel.

it may not feel like it, but that softness is still there, waiting to be reignited again. That softness always exists within yourself. When you decide to express your feelings even though they’ve been dismissed. That you decided to open up just a little bit to a stranger holding the fear of being rejected for it. You forgave them. You allowed yourself to cry. Just as softness is lost in micro moments, it’s also found again. And just maybe, someone may be strong enough to give you some gentleness back.