the train theory

have you ever had a connection with someone so strong it felt like you knew them for years even if it was your first time meeting? Was there ever a time where you met someone and they got you so well that it seemed that they spent years studying the blueprint of your soul?

time is just one small factor in your ability to relate to another person. There are friends that I’ve met just weeks ago that I feel closer to than my childhood friends who know every detail of what I’m made up of. It’s the feeling of just “clicking.” Fitting so well as if this person were a perfect puzzle piece in a sea of pieces that don’t fit.

when you meet someone who feels like home, you want to spend as much time with that person as you can. The feeling of being intellectually, physically, and emotionally stimulated feels so rare. Our instinct is to keep this person held so tight at the first thought of what it would be like to lose them.

The reality is genuine connections are rare. Modern relationships are built too often on commonalities rather than depth. The question of how are you and the pressure to tell someone that you’re good even though you aren’t. That’s why when you meet someone that gets you, even just a little more than you’re used to, it feels right to think about how they’ll fit into your life and your future. After all, authenticity is the richest form of connection there is.

but what if some people are only here for a short time and can still make a lasting impact on you? Can intense connections with people still be valuable even though they aren’t meant to last?

i think we should view our connections as if they’re on a train. Some connections that we meet, no matter how intense or passionate, are here for a stop or two. Some continue to ride the train for 5 or 10 stops and get off. Others, if we’re lucky, stay to the very end of the line and get off with us.

just because a relationship is short lived does not make it any less meaningful. Take travel romances for example. Too many people fear heartbreak because a person doesn’t live close enough to them to pursue a relationship further than a two week fling. But what if that person showed you that you can feel intensely again? That you can feel excited again about a first date after a year of taking a break because you felt hopeless. Sometimes, the type of connection we want involves taking risks.

I want you to look back at short term relationships as something to be proud of. The memories are a richer currency than something ending sooner than you’d like it to. Good connection is worth far more than longer lasting unsatisfactory relationships. So when someone gets off that train at a stop that you weren’t expecting or wanted to last, thank them for the experiences they shared with you. They gave you part of a life worth living. Maybe even the thought that you can feel again, and sometimes, that just has to be enough.